I've been noticeably absent from this blog for a bit. A few months ago I started to be in pain and the pain only got worse. It's prevented me from working, socializing, and at times just walking across my apartment to get myself water. This isn't a "new" pain and the only course of action to remedy the situation is surgery.
I go in tomorrow morning for surgery.
For the past 2+ months, I've not been able to lead my life the way I want. Specifically, it's prevented me from physical activities and requires me to spend enormous amounts of time hibernating in my bed under a hot water bottle. When your body fails you, it leaves you plenty of time to think. Thinking can be both a good thing and a negative thing. In general, it's easy for me to get lost in my thoughts. When all I'm surrounded by is my thoughts, it's really important to be kind to myself.
There are, of course, risks with surgery. Speaking honestly, there are a lot of risks with my life. Fire spinning comes with multiple risks. Fire breathing comes with even more. Even choosing to drive cross country in the winter by myself comes with risks. I'm fine with risks.
It's been a tough few months with managing to keep my spirits up and trying my best to function. Some things, specifically career wise, have fallen to the sidelines. Prioritizing my health has not been easy, but it's been necessary. If I want be be active and do the things I love for another 50+ years, I do need to make my health my #1 priority. I owe it to myself and to the people who care about me.
So tomorrow, if you have any spare thoughts I'd appreciate one being sent my way.
