Saturday, March 22, 2014

Fear of the professional waitress

There is an unspoken fear in artistic communities. It's the fear of doing the job you use to support your creative soul, like being a waitress, and ending up doing it more than your creative passions.

This happened to me last year.

I woke up one day in June and realized it had been months since I went to an audition. It had been months since I saw a play. Even my flow arts wasn't as flowy as it should be because life had gotten in the way.

The change to live my life to my fullest creative pursuit was not something I did lightly. It was, and still is, a big choice.

In the past week, I've been tested as to what I want. The choices are literally piling up on me and it is my responsibility to sort through the different options. It's not an easy choice, so luckily the universe sent me reinforcements.

While taking a nap the other day, I felt my phone vibrate. Even though my phone was set to silent, something told me there was an important call I missed. It was from one of my Otter friends. He's an amazing guy I've only met once in person, but we use to talk all the time. Things got crazy and my computer is pretty much on life support, so we haven't talked in a few months. Still, he called me at the right time. He makes a living off of freelance drawing and commission pieces. We talked a bit about how much time it takes to make a living off of our passion projects. He'll work 6 hours a day at least and some days much longer. He does it because he loves it and is great at it. There are days I'm putting in 12 hour days working to support myself and still get 3 hours in of my passion projects.

This past week, I was offered the opportunity to work full time at my job again.
I had to say no.
I said no because it was way more important for me to continue to follow my passion.
12,14,16,18 hour days don't affect me the same if there is a spark of passion.

Pretty sure I've mentioned "The Question" I ask everyone who is discontent with their life.
"If money was no object, what would you want to wake up and do every day?"
My answer has changed into one simple word that reminds me I'm on the right path.
This is what I want to do every day.

No comments:

Post a Comment