Friday, December 27, 2013

Sink or Swim

I'm sitting on the black butterfly chair bought for my freshman year of college wearing a sweatshirt from my sophomore year of highschool. This is a much needed break as I've been moving non-stop since noon going from old apartment to new apartment.

This past year has been the longest I've been in one location in almost a decade. Since I was 16, things have not been consistent in my life in a way that requires mobility. I've mentioned it before, but I've lived out of backpacks and can pack at a moment's notice.

This move is different. In a few short trips, virtually everything was been relocated. Now keep in mind, I did not get a chance to do much of the deep cleaning and discarding of objects before this move. That process will be happening around the first or second week of January, when things begin to slow down for me.

Now, I originally had plans for multiple months to live somewhere else. Through whatever powers may be, that living arrangement did not happen. Instead, I started last Sunday the 15 to look for a place with two of my Highschool friends who also needed a place. Quickly checking Craigslist, we had some contenders. It was only last Thursday my friend Mattie mentioned a listing from a few months ago we might be interested in. I called the man and we looked at the place on Saturday morning.

It was the perfect place. It had enough space for us and we could see ourselves living here. Virtually everything we wanted in an apartment was in this one, and lets be honest; claw foot bathtubs are not a normal apartment fixture. We applied to the place minutes after viewing it and got a confirmation on Monday the place was ours.

I've been afraid of things before in my life. Too often I've been afraid how things are changing so quickly in my life. It is only now, sitting in a place I hadn't even seen a week prior do I feel like I'm adjusting to the speed of my life.

Yes, I could slow things down.

I could plan things out for months before I commit to something and do loads of research. I'd make pro and con columns to weight my options. But I've never done those things.
Swimming to be comes as easily as walking, if not easier. The water gives me the chance to move in a completely different way. It does not matter the temperature or time of year, I'll be in the water. This year I'm hoping to jump in the ocean with my mother.

There are two types of people when it comes to getting into water; the jumpers and the steppers. Steppers gradually immerse themselves in the water to become adjusted to the difference in temperature or not to mess up their hair. Jumpers jump right in, regardless of how cold it is or what will happen to their hair.

Ever since I was a child, I was a jumper. It's not due to my lack of patience, it's something else. I jump for the split second before you hit the water. In that one second, you feel so many different emotions. Fear, happiness, regret, hesitation.

"Is this water deep enough?"
"Did I take my cell phone out of my pocket?"
"What just happened to my bikini top?!"

You commit to the choice you made and just enjoy it. This is how I do most things, I jump. The water just looks so clear and there weather is perfect. When in doubt, all there is to do is trust the water is deep enough for you to swim in. I'll see you in the water.

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